


Your Type?

by hippogrifs



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bard makes pancakes for his kids, Barduil - Freeform, M/M, You’re a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 13:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3938494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippogrifs/pseuds/hippogrifs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Pancakes. Fire. Blanket. New pan. Gotta run! I’m back in half an hour, call me if there’s something wrong!” <br/>Wherein Bard goes buy a new pancake pan in the store where Thranduil currently works as cashier. Modern AU.<br/>Prompt from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Type?

“Da?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

Bard was currently baking pancakes for his children’s lunch while at the same time trying to keep Bain and Sigrid from fighting over the Nutella. Bard tried to focus on Tilda. “What is wro – SIGRID!” Bain laughed loudly, cuddling the Nutella possessively. Sigrid was frantic, trying to grab the jar from him over the small wooden table, calling him all sorts of names.

“Think of Tilda, would you!” Not even going to ask where she got those curses from, Bard thought, shaking his head in disbelief as he flipped the pancake over.

“Da?”

Oh, that’s right. He glanced at the pancake one more time before he kneeled down so he looked Tilda in the eyes at her eyelevel. She smiled broadly and crawled into his arms and onto his shoulders. He stood up carefully, hoping his daughter wouldn’t hit her head on the ceiling or lamp. Fortunately she didn’t mind the low ceiling and started blabbering about school and her new friend called Fili. Picking up the spatula once again he almost dropped Tilda when his two other children had started shouting again.

“BAIN! Come on! You’ve had five pancakes already!” Sigrid yelled at Bain who was trying to pull back the hazelnut spread from his older sister.

“Six!”

“Same difference! Give. It. Back!”

“No! Nutella is heaven!”

“Of course!” Sigrid rolled her eyes dramatically, still pulling at Bain’s arm. “And that’s why _prince_ Bain deserves the holy spread.”

“Well, yea –“

“BULLSHIT!”

Bain almost squealed when Sigrid had jumped up and started running after Bain in their small apartment.

“BAIN! SIGRID!” Bard shouted after them, now carrying Tilda on his hip. But they had ran outside, down the long staircase, he could hear them screaming from up here. Shaking his head once more and kissing Tilda on her head softly he finally turned around to his appraised pancakes.

“Da?” Tilda leaned forward to expect the pan better. “Why is the pancake smoking?”

_Oh no_.

“Tilda. The pancake isn’t smoking. It’s burning!” He put her down quickly, standing paralyzed in front of the blackened and smouldering food. “Hand me the fire blanket, Tilda.” She nodded extremely seriously, which made Bard smile proudly, and she ran towards the cupboard.

“Thank you, darlin’.” He threw the blanket over the pan which had caught fire in the meantime. Tilda and Bard sighed in relief. They stood like that for a minute before Bard broke the silence.

“Well… that was a new experience.” Bard muttered slowly.

“What about the pancakes?” Tilda asked innocently, looking up at her dad with wide blue eyes. She was still shaking a bit from the fire.

He pulled her closer to his side. “No more pancakes till I have a new pan. I’m sorry, darlin’.”

When he saw Tilda’s disappointed expression his eyes softened. He groaned at his daughter’s pout.

“Ugh, why do you have to look so sweet all the time, darlin’!” Tilda smiled when he leaned down to kiss her head once again. “Okay, I will get a new pan right away, I’ll be back in 30 minutes!”

Her eyes lit up and she hugged him happily. Then he picked up his jacket and sprinted down the stairs of their flat. So lost in thought he almost stumbled over Bain and Sigrid on the porch outside.

“Hey! Da! What are you doi –“ Sigrid started, handing the almost empty jar of Nutella over to Bain, who put in his whole hand. Apparently their fight had solved itself.

“Pancakes. Fire. Blanket. New pan. Gotta run! I’m back in half an hour, call me if there’s something wrong!”

“What!? Where’s Tild –“ But it was to no avail, they watched their father retreat in the distance. They scrambled up and ran upstairs, leaving the empty jar on the sidewalk.

* * *

Thranduil leaned against the counter next to the checkout, reading a random magazine on glassware. He was terribly bored. The only reason he had this job was because he needed the money. His son Legolas wanted to go to this expensive school studying International Relations or something similarly prestigious. He made long days, but it paid well enough for him not to fire himself. Turning the page lazily, his gaze lingered on some nice crystal wine glasses, only £24.99 per box! A bargain!

Suddenly the doors of the almost deserted shop blasted open and a broad, dishevelled man stepped in. Clearly he had ran part of the way, because he brushed loose strands of dark hair from his eyes with a nonchalant movement. He was scanning the shop confusedly. Thranduil studied the man with interest as the man made a happy noise and walked towards the cookware, clearly having found what he was looking for. He was very handsome, in a rugged kind of way. Right now he was holding up a flat pan, weighing it in his hand, pretending to flip a pancake or something like that. His broad shoulders and strong posture reminded Thranduil of a warrior, or a bowman. The mysterious, handsome, man had made his choice and proceeded to walk to the checkout. Thranduil quickly looked at his magazine again, and looked up with a neutral enough expression that didn’t suggest that he had been watching the man for 5 minutes.

The man looked over his shoulder casually.

“Can I help y –“

“OH SHIT!” The man screamed and jumped over the counter expertly to crouch down at Thranduil’s feet.

“What the hell!” Thranduil gasped before a pair of strong hands pulled him down too.

“SHHH!”

“What, why? Is this a robbery?” Thranduil let out anxiously, distancing himself a bit, eyes darting up to the phone on the counter. The man ignored him completely, which Thranduil hated too.

“Quick,” The man read Thranduil’s nametag before continuing. “Thranduil, check if she’s gone!”

“WHO?”

“SHUT UP! Just do it! Blonde hair, tall, pretty!” He pushed him up and Thranduil peeked over the counter before he was pulled down again.

“And?”

“I couldn’t see anything! I had no time, do you want me to call the police? What the hell.” Thranduil tried to get up angrily. He wasn’t paid for this, Jesus.

The man, still crouched down, hold on to his arm.

“Please!” Thranduil looked at him, still annoyed. “It’s my ex. She’s… freaky!”

His horror-struck expression almost made Thranduil smile. Even though he was still confused he kept put, sitting down opposite the good-looking man.

“You’re lucky the store has zero customers most of the time, otherwise you would be in deep trouble, …?”

“Bard.” They shook hands.

Damn, Thranduil thought, he really is handsome. His messy hair and stubble made him look scruffier than he probably was. But his dark eyes were warm and he had a wonderful smile.

“Why did you date her anyway?” Thranduil asked curiously after he had taken another peek over the counter, quickly localizing ‘the ex’ who had looked positively intimidating.

 Bard sighed exasperatingly, and looked at Thranduil for a long time before chuckling softly.

“No idea.”

Thranduil smiled too.

“Are you currently seeing anyone?”

Bard shook his head and Thranduil told him he was single too. He should get back to his work, but he couldn’t leave… Bard to his chances, could he?

“I am so sorry,” Bard said apologetically, not looking at Thranduil. “You probably should get back to your work. I panicked, sorry.”

This almost made Thranduil laugh. The mysterious man had just changed from aggressive intruder to embarrassed man in no time.

“Don’t worry. My day was hellishly boring, up until now.” Thranduil winked at the man, who blushed at his flirtations.

“I – I need to go. Thank you for lending me your hide-out.”

“Anytime.” Thranduil replied, standing up to his full height. The ex had just left the store without purchasing anything.

* * *

Bard stood up too and looked up to the handsome cashier who had so gallantly helped him out.

“Whoa, you’re tall!” He exclaimed, surprised, looking up at the blond’s face.

“Your type?” His deep voice replied with a raised eyebrow.

Bard’s cheeks blushed deep crimson. Thranduil chuckled. He was confused by that question and he looked up at Thranduil’s face, which was so beautiful it hurt. His icy blue eyes under his dark, prominent, eyebrows sparkled, he was definitely enjoying this too much. Bard shot him a quick glare before he studied Thranduil’s perfect hair quickly, so light! It must be glow in the dark. Blond. And tall. The pieces fell together not long after.

“Damn.” Bard let out quietly.

Thranduil smiled at him coyly. He was frustratingly hot, Bard thought, and he _knew_ it. Thranduil was still watching him with a smirk as Bard looked at his watch. Cursing loudly he apologized to Thranduil again as he jumped over the counter once more. This time it did make some customers turn their heads, tsk-ing under their breaths in disdain. Thranduil let out a startled sound again, Bard had learned that he disliked surprises. A lot.

“I have to get home, I’m sorry, my children are waiting for me!” Bard walked towards the exit before he heard a low voice behind him, calling him back.

“Bard! Wait! You forget your pan!” Bard facepalmed himself, he had completely forgotten about his sole purpose for coming here. He checked his phone and saw 30 missed messages from Sigrid. With a sigh he picked up the pan. “ _And_ ,” Thranduil continued smoothly, “remember to keep the receipt.” Bard looked up, confused again, why would he want to return the pan? But he took it anyway for Thranduil obviously wasn’t confused at all and he and bid him farewell with a wink.

When Bard walked home, noticeably slower than he had ran towards the store, and checked the receipt by chance.

> _You forgot to pay. This one’s on me. Next time you pay. I love coffee._

Below that Thranduil had scribbled down his phone number in long elegant letters. Bard chuckled. Oh damn, he had completely forgotten to pay. The subtle hint reminded Bard of a cute coffee house near Thranduil’s store. He could take him there sometime… But first, more important matters were at hand.

Pancakes.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language. Sorry for any mistakes! Please tell me though! :) Thanks for reading! ^^


End file.
